Intervallo I: Hell's Chicken/Story Episodes
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To receive a briefing of our next mission, we arrived downtown in
K Corp’s Nest. As a whiff of a roasty scent was about to take the Sinners
for a nostalgia trip, a flock of walking raw chickens began to attack them.
Are they trying to exact revenge for all their brethren
that humans fried and gobbled up…?
One idea we came up with to unravel the Distortion…
was to present some “chicken-based cooking” that would appease it.
The sinners confidently start preparing their dishes, but…
Shouldn’t they put their cigarettes out first?
Split into two groups, the Sinners present their dishes.
I still don’t get how this turned into a competition…
But, in any case, they have a long way to go to
sate the distorted restaurant owner's palate.
Or anyone else's, if I’m being honest here…
The owner's reaction couldn't have been worse.
We only have a few chances remaining, too.
It looks like our only option is to count on the Sinners
who seem like they know their stuff, I hope…?
Main article: A Restaurateur's Mild Fathoms/Floor 1
3.5-1: Chicken Attack
K Corp’s Nest. As a whiff of a roasty scent was about to take the Sinners
for a nostalgia trip, a flock of walking raw chickens began to attack them.
Are they trying to exact revenge for all their brethren
that humans fried and gobbled up…?
Pre-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
 |
FAUST |
Off the bus, everyone. This is where we’re supposed to meet the client for our next mission. |
 |
HEATHCLIFF |
Gimme a break. Now we’re taking requests like we’re frou-frou errand boys? |
 |
GREGOR |
Hm? Say, what’s that over there? It’s got a long line in front of it. |
 |
RODION |
Ahh~ Can’t you recognize this stirring scent? It’s fried chicken, Greg!! Deep fried chicken brought to a crisp in expensive oil! |
 |
??? |
It seems you haven’t seen much of Nest K if you have yet to learn of Bodhisattva Chicken, the hottest trend around these parts. |
 |
HONG LU |
Oho… Bodhisattva Chicken, is it? What is that? |
|
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??? |
Permit me… to answer. |
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??? |
Bodhisattva Chicken is a highly renowned restaurant known for its six-legged, eight-winged poultry whose blissful tastes and gracious quantities really make you feel great compassion. |
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??? |
What’s more, they’re prepared for every preference. The buzzworthy biddy with the right amount of tenderness, the chubby capon with plentiful flesh to dig into, the chewy cockerel that’s perfectly al dente, and more. Now tell me, what do you want? |
 |
YI SANG |
…I may have heard of it erst. |
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RODION |
Isn’t this a surprise~ Our Yi Sang of all people is keeping up with the fads from under his rock? |
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HEATHCLIFF |
…So what’re you supposed to be? |
|
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HEATHCLIFF |
Can hazard a guess you don’t know who we are either, seeing as you brazenly shoved yourself in while we’re talking. |
 |
ISHMAEL |
…Can you even explain who we are? |
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??? |
Gracious, what could those things roaming around the restaurant possibly be? They don’t appear very normal to me. |
 |
DANTE |
<I–Isn’t that K Corp’s staff…? What are they doing?> |
 |
MEURSAULT |
I see individuals covering their heads with strange masks. |
 |
SINCLAIR |
M—Maybe they’re some kind of mascot? It could be pretty cute when we look up close… |
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ISHMAEL |
Those “mascots” have people running and screaming, though? |
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GREGOR |
Seems a bit off, but let’s leave ‘em be. Doesn’t look like they’re coming this way, and I don’t particularly feel like getting wrapped up in something bothersome— |
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??? |
You’re right. They aren’t necessarily approaching us. |
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GREGOR |
And just what are you up to with that rock from the roadside, mysterious fella? |
 |
Chicken-headed K Corp. Security |
! |
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DANTE |
<What in the world did you do?!> |
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Chicken-headed K Corp. Security |
Giiiii… Giiii… |
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??? |
Yikes, I’ve made such a clumsy mistake. What will we do? |
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RODION |
Likely story, kozyol… You aimed straight for its head… |
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HONG LU |
Wow~ Your form was impressively stable. |
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??? |
Why thank you. I once aspired to be a big-City baseball player. |
 |
RYŌSHŪ |
I’ll play ball with you alright. Stay right there so I can knock your noggin outta the park. |
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??? |
They’re approaching faster now. Shouldn’t you deal with them first before working up a slugger with my head? |
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FAUST |
They have chicken heads. |
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RODION |
Yup, whole chickens. |
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ISHMAEL |
Raw ones at that, too. |
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GREGOR |
It’s like the ghosts of dead chickens’re clucking back from hell for revenge… |
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GREGOR |
So, uh… You guys think it’s because Sinclair left a chicken wing uneaten that one time since it was a hassle to get the meat off? Can’t think of anything else we might’ve done to call up hen havoc… |
|
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SINCLAIR |
Teasing like that won’t get to me anymore, you know… Besides, Rodya licked that one clean anyways… |
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??? |
Hm, it appears that combat is going to be our sole recourse. |
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DANTE |
<So why is this guy taking cover behind me then?> |
Post-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
|
|
GREGOR |
Right, now that that’s been all sorted out, why don’t we get back to the point, friendly four-eyed stranger? |
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??? |
I must object to such a moniker; especially so when it comes from a fellow glasses-bearer. |
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GREGOR |
O—Oh, is that so… Sorry ‘bout that, I guess. |
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MEURSAULT |
Basic personal information, such as one’s identity, can be easily acquired from the registration of one’s death. |
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|
Samjo |
…Ah, I did neglect to introduce myself. Here’s my business card. You may call me Samjo. |
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HEATHCLIFF |
A K Corp… Affiliate of the Department of Food Resource Development’s Research Center… |
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|
HEATHCLIFF |
…… |
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|
HEATHCLIFF |
Hah! Thought we’d be fooled by a bunch of big fancy words? |
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Samjo |
Of course. Persuasion and explanation are where I excel, so please stay calm and listen. |
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|
Samjo |
I was most impressed by the feats of your battle just moments ago. |
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|
Samjo |
In particular, the instances where you continued to assault your foes in blatant disregard for a dying colleague nearby. A few others even laughed at the sight. |
 |
OUTIS |
Heh… Friend or foe, those who dare impede must be promptly removed. |
|
|
Samjo |
As you can see, those chickenheads of unknown origin which are occupying this restaurant’s front have been causing considerable damage. |
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HEATHCLIFF |
…So what? |
|
|
Samjo |
The venue’s manager has also been bedridden until just now. |
|
|
Samjo |
You may speak now. |
 |
Bodhisattva Chicken’s Manager |
Erm… So, things’ve been… Our fryhouse opened up a few months ago just across from Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers. |
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Bodhisattva Chicken’s Manager |
Our franchise offers generous servings of good-tasting food using poultry with a supreme pedigree, so it was natural that we would draw all the customers from Eunbong’s. |
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Bodhisattva Chicken’s Manager |
But one day, out of the blue, the owner of Eunbong’s started acting real strange. Losing his customers must’ve shocked him or somethin’, and now he’s trying to ruin all of our businesses. |
|
|
GREGOR |
I mean, it’s not uncommon for competitors to throw jabs at each other, right— |
 | ||
 |
Nest Resident |
Kyaaaugh!!! What the hell!!! |
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Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner? |
Khh… Ghh… Kagh… |
 | ||
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ISHMAEL |
…What in the world? Is he commanding the chickens? |
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GREGOR |
That’s definitely strange behavior. How spiteful does someone have to be to resort to that kind of stuff…? |
 | ||
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Bodhisattva Chicken’s Manager |
I don’t know if they’re augmented or what, but those plucked and prepped hens would break into the restaurant and destroy things… |
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Bodhisattva Chicken’s Manager |
And now there’s people wearing those chickens on their heads, too… If this keeps up, our restaurant is gonna lose so much money… |
|
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Samjo |
Such is his feathery song. |
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YI SANG |
Hmm… |
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Samjo |
This has been his tear-jerking reflection. Would you be willing to deal with this case? |
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DANTE |
<That ruffled your feathers, huh, Yi Sang?> |
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YI SANG |
Mrrm… |
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HEATHCLIFF |
Tear-jerking or whatever, we still don’t take requests from a chicken p— |
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Samjo |
A lifetime voucher. |
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|
Samjo |
Handle this request, and I’ll offer you groundbreaking benefit: the right to free orders from this restaurant for the rest of your lives. |
|
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Bodhisattva Chicken’s Manager |
A lifetime voucher?! I never heard of such a— |
|
|
Samjo |
I have even prepared a few free samples for you. |
|
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Bodhisattva Chicken’s Manager |
You what?! |
|
|
Samjo |
Now now, stand in line and keep things orderly. I’ve brought samples for different pedigrees, so you’re free to pick and choose. Each one comes with a unique brand of tastiness, demonstrating its strengths in differing cuts of meat. |
 |
DON QUIXOTE |
Mmmmh… Must I choose only one flavor to taste? They all appear equal in gustatory greatness… |
|
|
Samjo |
Let me suggest this, then: Leave the other flavors as something to anticipate for your future meals. It won’t be a problem once the lifetime voucher is in your hands. |
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DON QUIXOTE |
Oho… Indeed, ‘tis an infallible proposition… |
|
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Samjo |
What do you say? |
|
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HEATHCLIFF |
…… |
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|
HEATHCLIFF |
That’s… not half bad at all… |
|
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ISHMAEL |
Hello…? Aren’t we supposed to be looking for Golden Boughs, not golden drumsticks? Since when did we— |
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HEATHCLIFF |
Didn’t you hear him? We’re dining on free crispy chicken forever! |
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RODION |
It doesn’t have limited use, right? It’s actually free chickens forever, right? Yeah? Takeout counts too? |
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RODION |
Hah, this takes me back to older days. Wonder if anyone remembers it~ Y’know, HamHamPangPang’s freshly fried chicken that was totes delish. |
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HEATHCLIFF |
I sure do. I’d have a cheeky one with the lads whenever our Syndicate earned a proper lump of dosh. |
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ISHMAEL |
Ugh, Ms. Faust, can you have them cut the crap already? Shouldn’t there be some company clause against fried chicken requests? |
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|
FAUST |
Alright, we will take your request. |
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ISHMAEL |
Excuse me?! |
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ISHMAEL |
I’m sorry, Faust… but did you… go out of your mind for a second there? |
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GREGOR |
Yeesh, Ishmael, no need to be so biting there… |
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FAUST |
It’s hard to say. Faust’s mind tends to be out there most of the time. |
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HEATHCLIFF |
Hahah! Guess we’re all right and chummy for once, eh? |
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DANTE |
<Faust… Are you serious? You’re taking a request over free chicken?> |
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|
FAUST |
To be more precise… this is to resolve a case of the ‘Distortion Phenomenon’, Dante. |
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DANTE |
<Distortion Phenomenon?> |
|
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HONG LU |
Distortions… What are they? |
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FAUST |
It is a term I’m sure is unclear to most. Although it has been occurring all around the City, no official announcement of the phenomenon has been made to the general public. |
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HONG LU |
Oh… |
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MEURSAULT |
To my knowledge, it is a phenomenon where an individual morphs into a form often unfit to be considered “human”. It has no known causes, and the appearances were all different. |
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HONG LU |
Hmm… That doesn’t make it clear enough. Are they like Abnormalities? |
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MEURSAULT |
Not exactly, as unlike Abnormalities, they do not shrink into eggs; it is possible for them to fully expire. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
I have witnessed a number of cases in the past. |
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|
FAUST |
Our company has the LCD, a department housing consultant Fixers dedicated to matters regarding the Distortions. Though its size is small, it nevertheless signifies the company’s interest in the phenomenon. |
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DANTE |
<So the owner of Eunbong’s… has… turned into one of those Distortion things?> |
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FAUST |
That’s correct. One does not simply gain the ability to lead an army of raw chickens by losing their mind. |
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DANTE |
<I see…> |
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ISHMAEL |
So that’s what it’s about? Phew… I almost got worried that I might have to knock some sense back into you, Faust. |
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GREGOR |
Is that why you were clutching your mace so tight, Ishmael…? |
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DON QUIXOTE |
Rightly so! We must act before this commotion results in any casualty. Ñam-ñam… |
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RODION |
Oh? You got sauce on your face, chiquita! |
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|
Samjo |
I’ll take that as a yes, and will be waiting for your contact. |
3.5-3: Hell’s Chicken
was to present some “chicken-based cooking” that would appease it.
The sinners confidently start preparing their dishes, but…
Shouldn’t they put their cigarettes out first?
Pre-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
|
|
DANTE |
<What are we supposed to do to resolve a Distortion?> |
|
|
FAUST |
It’s simple. |
|
|
FAUST |
What we will do is open up the heart of the Distorted. |
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|
FAUST |
Disarm their mind's guard and coax them into opening up. |
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RYŌSHŪ |
I see. Do we remove the scapula first? Or perhaps the sternum? |
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FAUST |
Hmm, a physical revelation of the heart… An interesting proposal. |
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DANTE |
<Er, first off… We probably should visit that Eunbong’s place and figure some things out.> |
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SINCLAIR |
Euh… Raw poultry is walking around. That can’t be hygienic… |
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DANTE |
<They look like the things that were on those people’s heads earlier.> |
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DANTE |
<I dunno what they are, but we shouldn’t get too close to…> |
 |
Raw Chicken |
Kieeeh! |
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HEATHCLIFF |
So we can have free chicken for life after we’re done whacking these pullets, eh? |
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RYŌSHŪ |
Cute. Let’s STAB. |
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DANTE |
<……> |
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DANTE |
<I get it! That one was “slice them all bare”!> |
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ISHMAEL |
…Huh. |
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RYŌSHŪ |
Nod. |
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SINCLAIR |
Huh, Heathcliff?!?! |
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Heathcliff? |
…… |
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DANTE |
<…Heathcliff?!!> |
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Heathcliff? |
…… |
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ISHMAEL |
I think I like Heathcliff better this way, y’know? He actually seems intelligent now. |
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RODION |
Oh gosh, what do we do, Dante? Wait, quick! Your clock! |
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DANTE |
<B—But then…> |
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DANTE |
<What if my head turns into a chicken while the clock’s working?> |
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RYŌSHŪ |
S.D. |
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SINCLAIR |
Same difference?! |
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RYŌSHŪ |
Clockhead, chickenhead—they’re no different, so I don’t get being huffy over it. |
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SINCLAIR |
Mister Heathcliff! Are you alright in there? |
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Heathcliff? |
Ghii… Ghii… |
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RODION |
Say, why don’t we keep him as our mascot if the thing never comes off? |
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DANTE |
<What’s the deal with you and mascots anyway…?> |
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Heathcliff? |
Ghii… Cooh… |
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DON QUIXOTE |
Ohhhh! Lead your eyes thither! Heathcliff is communicating with the other hens! |
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Chickenhead |
Bubawkgi! Bubawkgicludoo. Buhbawkgigi! |
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Heathcliff? |
Bubawgi… Doodlegidoo… Buhbawk… |
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HONG LU |
Fuhu, Heathcliff’s become quite the chatterbox. |
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FAUST |
It appears that the chicken sitting on his face is using his mouth to communicate, rather than Heathcliff himself. |
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DON QUIXOTE |
Sniff… I cannot leave Sir Heathcliff in these straits… I had wished to cosplay with him as two “Fixers del Atardecer Ardiente” someday… We would only be subject to mockery if he were to engage in mummery with that chickened head… |
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Heathcliff? |
Ghiii… Ghiii… |
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OUTIS |
I can’t stand his clucking anymore. I’ll bring him back to his senses sharply. |
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Heathcliff? |
Kwi… Giidoough… |
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MEURSAULT |
…The sound of the impacts was comparable to when she was interrogating a captive enemy. |
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OUTIS |
I don’t see him ever recovering on his own. This leaves us no choice. I will remove the chicken head as a whole. |
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RODION |
Is it really okay to yank it off like that? You might peel his face right off with it! |
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OUTIS |
Grow a backbone. Even if his skin were to be removed, it’s perfectly fine as our executive manager is here to handle it. |
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DANTE |
<No, seriously… It’s really not fine for me, Outis, and I can’t just—> |
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Heathcliff |
Kiiiiih khiiiiiih!!! |
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DANTE |
<I heard something tear… It didn’t actually come off, did it? Huh?> |
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HEATHCLIFF |
Kuff… Kaff… Gehg… |
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OUTIS |
Back with us soldier? |
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HEATHCLIFF |
Urgh… What’s with this barmy soup in my mouth… |
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RODION |
Heath… You were having some serious discussion with those chickens, clucking weird stuff. Remember? |
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HEATHCLIFF |
Huh, now that you say it… I think I did hear some gabbing in my head… |
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HEATHCLIFF |
W-What were they on about… Some sort of recipe got lost, I guess… |
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HEATHCLIFF |
Was the cornerstone of this eatery, but once it was gone… He stopped getting customers… |
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HEATHCLIFF |
That’s when the master started acting off… and infected us all… |
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ISHMAEL |
Pft… Did you just say those chickens were “us”? |
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HEATHCLIFF |
…Bugger, I’m still recovering from those headhens… This is confusing… |
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SINCLAIR |
That’s what you decided to call them…? |
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DANTE |
<If the Distortion happened because he lost his recipe…> |
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DANTE |
<Then maybe we can somehow recreate it for him?> |
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FAUST |
You’ve gotten close enough to an answer. |
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FAUST |
Though much about the Distortion remains unknown, one of the noted particulars is that it occurs when the good and evil… No, when the mind crumbles to figurative pieces. |
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DANTE |
<Sounds like you just pivoted away from “good and evil” because that version would get too long for you to bother…> |
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FAUST |
For instance, let’s say that Hong Lu held a belief he was certain would be an unchanging constant as he lived in the City. |
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FAUST |
Or, it could be a hope for some other psychological sustainment that has supported his life. |
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HONG LU |
…Hmm. |
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FAUST |
If that support suddenly collapses in a massively shocking event that causes one to let their “ego” go, his mind would crumble, so to speak. |
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HONG LU |
…Well, I could see that happening. |
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HEATHCLIFF |
What could be so shocking for a well-off cuss like you? Getting your privy purse snatched away? |
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HONG LU |
Oh, no, I never received an allowance. There was no need for such a thing when I could spend any amount whenever I wanted. |
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RODION |
Really? What else is it, then? |
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HONG LU |
Hm… I thought I knew, but I can’t seem to elaborate on it with words right now. |
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FAUST |
To return to the point and sum things up… |
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FAUST |
The Distortion… is a phenomenon that arises from deeply personal psychological shock. |
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FAUST |
The affected will have walled off their heart with a solid defense. |
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FAUST |
This wall was to be brought down using methods that the Distorted would approve. |
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GREGOR |
And in this case, the Distortion would want… |
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GREGOR |
…Chicken-based cooking, right. |
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GREGOR |
I cooked up a good few meals using leftovers and cans for my comrades in arms during the war. |
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GREGOR |
Those traumatized soldiers were moved to tears by my dishes as they gobbled up the stuff. |
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RYŌSHŪ |
Hmph. |
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GREGOR |
…Hey now, is it just me… or did I hear somebody scoff at that? |
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RYŌSHŪ |
How droll. What does a C.F. know about cooking? You’d be better off flipping hamburger patties with your pincer. |
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HONG LU |
Ooh~ If Mr. Gregor opened a business, he’d be a boss with big meaty claws! |
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GREGOR |
…Ryōshū, that’s short for “crawling furball”, isn’t it? But I’ll say, I do like the idea of being the guy with big meaty claws… Eh? My head just got a sting… |
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RYŌSHŪ |
A true chef… follows their tongue and blade. |
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RYŌSHŪ |
Could you really say that food haphazardly mashed together in a warzone is real cuisine? |
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RODION |
Ohhh~ That’s one for the cookbooks! |
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SINCLAIR |
Ms. Ryōshū, she’s speaking with full words for once! |
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GREGOR |
Grr… It sounded cool, but I’m not sure you’re one to be giving out advice… |
 | ||
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GREGOR |
Actually, hold on, have you even cooked before, Ryōshū? |
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RYŌSHŪ |
Obvs. I have crafted dishes on a level that you as a trifling cook can’t dare imagine. |
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GREGOR |
Okay, now I’m starting to get mad… |
 | ||
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RODION |
Let’s see, then… I’m on Shū’s side! |
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GREGOR |
Why are we splitting up into teams now? |
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RODION |
Ahaha, I mean, it’s fun~ |
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GREGOR |
And why did you end up siding with her? |
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RODION |
Greg, darling, we’ve been stuck too close for too long. Why don’t we try a little distance just for today? |
 | ||
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HEATHCLIFF |
So we win by pulping ‘er up, aye? |
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GREGOR |
No no, we aren’t crushing anyone with force… |
 | ||
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OUTIS |
You admit to feeding your men canned food? You’re a disgrace of a soldier. For your reference, I much prefer instant foods. |
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GREGOR |
That reference is just a preference! |
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ISHMAEL |
This is childish, really. Do you guys seriously want to take sides over this? |
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RODION |
Tell us, why don’t you tell us? Which side are you, Ishy? If you had to choose between Greg and Ryōshū to serve food for us Sinners… |
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GREGOR |
Don’t you try and coax her. I know Ishmael and I have been thick as thieves since early on. |
 | ||
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GREGOR |
I—Ishmael…? |
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ISHMAEL |
Sorry, Gregor, but if it’s canned goods we’re talking about… I ate more than I ever want on the ship… |
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GREGOR |
C’mon, why won’t you look me in the eyes, Ishmael? Eh? |
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GREGOR |
…… |
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RYŌSHŪ |
Heh. |
 | ||
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DON QUIXOTE |
A―As a matter of truth, while we were banqueting upon skewered chicken on the bus… I… bore witness… to that woman’s more awful deed… |
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GREGOR |
What’d she do with the chicken kebab? |
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DON QUIXOTE |
I— That is… Nay, I cannot… begin to put it to words… |
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|
RYŌSHŪ |
Ahh, well, well… You saw it, did you? Huhu, that was a secret technique of mine to bring out the dak-kkochi’s ultimate flavor… |
 | ||
|
|
HONG LU |
Hoho, it would be a unique experience to try dishes comparable to pet food once in my life, right? I’ll be rooting for you, Gregor! |
|
|
GREGOR |
Er, right. Thanks a lot, Hong Lu… |
|
|
GREGOR |
Faust! I can count on you of all people to make the rational choice, yeah? |
|
|
FAUST |
I don’t know, as Faust… can enjoy a risky venture from time to time. |
 | ||
|
|
SINCLAIR |
I really don’t get it… Why are we splitting our group into opposing teams? |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
Hey, CHICK. Pick a way to survive or buzz off. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
Ch… Chirping hesitation isn’t cool, kiddo…?! T―Then… |
|
|
DANTE |
<Sinclair… You might be linked to Ryōshū on a spiritual level at this point.> |
 | ||
|
|
GREGOR |
Isn’t it unfair to threaten him to join you? That’s cheating! |
|
|
YI SANG |
…… |
|
|
YI SANG |
I shan’t choose, and instead, I humbly await your selection. |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
Don’t need that. You take it. |
|
|
YI SANG |
…… |
 | ||
 | ||
|
|
GREGOR |
M-Meursault… |
|
|
GREGOR |
I’m a little touched. I know we never got to talk much, but you still decided to come and stand by me in my time of need, I’m so― |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
I have only done so because joining the team with fewer members would set the balance right. |
|
|
DANTE |
<Hang on, are we allowed to do all this in someone else’s restaurant?> |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
It’s a RAFTS, so why care. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
You can’t call it a restaurant already fated to shut—we’re trying to help! |
|
|
GREGOR |
Yeah. Our goal is to deal with the Distortion, isn’t it? |
|
|
Raw Chicken |
Bwabawkbawkbawk!!! |
|
|
Gregor & Ryōshū |
Get in my way and you’re all getting chopped! Get in my way and you’re all getting sliced! |
|
|
DANTE |
<You guys look more in sync now…> |
Post-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
What recipe are you even gonna show, more canned crapola? |
|
|
GREGOR |
There’s no dish that beats the taste of survival. |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
Hey, champange hair! Get me a hen. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
Huh? Okay…! |
|
|
GREGOR |
Yi Sang! Sorry, but can you open this can for me? |
|
|
YI SANG |
As you wish. |
|
|
DANTE |
<…HUH?!! Why do I hear smoking in the kitchen?!> |
|
|
Gregor & Ryōshū |
…… |
3.5-5: A Chicken in Hand
I still don’t get how this turned into a competition…
But, in any case, they have a long way to go to
sate the distorted restaurant owner's palate.
Or anyone else's, if I’m being honest here…
Pre-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
|
|
DANTE |
<What uh, is this, Gregor?> |
 |
GREGOR |
A military survivalist meal… or something like that? |
|
|
DANTE |
<Do they… really eat this in the military?> |
|
|
GREGOR |
Look, Manager Bud, didn’t you say you’re an amnesiac? Since when were you such a delicate food critic, huh? |
|
|
DANTE |
<……> |
|
|
DANTE |
<Ryōshū, just to make sure, you didn’t mistake our objective with assassinating the Distorted restaurant owner, did you?> |
 |
RYŌSHŪ |
S.T.C.U. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
She wants to shut the clock up… |
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
Grr… Urgh… Hrrgh… |
|
|
FAUST |
The Distortion’s language is difficult to parse. It will take me at least 70 hours to decipher it based on the speech pattern and cadence. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
That long? We can’t be frying chickens for all that time! |
|
|
DANTE |
<Wait…!> |
|
|
DANTE |
<I think I can hear his voice in my head.> |
|
|
FAUST |
Hmm, how curious. This could be due to the influence of the Golden Boughs we’ve collected resonating with Manager Dante’s head. |
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
Gruh…Urg…Arrh… |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
What is he trying to say? |
|
|
DANTE |
<“A funeral procession in my mouth…”> |
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
Grh… Urhh…erh… |
|
|
DANTE |
<“Is your cooking theme ‘poultry apocalypse’”, he asks…> |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
Right… Today will be the day I rip that clock from its stem. |
|
|
DANTE |
<I was just relaying his review!> |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
Then the two of you can go to hell together. |
|
|
GREGOR |
Got too cocky, eh, Ryōshū? Confidence is good and all, but it’s no match for hard-boiled experience. |
|
|
GREGOR |
Alright, guess it’s my turn. Open wide now, pal. |
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
Ghh… Urhh… Urrg… |
|
|
DANTE |
<……> |
|
|
GREGOR |
Aha, is he starting to open up his heart? |
|
|
DANTE |
<He’s wondering if it was sludged up from the food waste dumpster outside…> |
|
|
GREGOR |
…… |
|
|
DANTE |
<Looks like both your dishes failed…> |
Post-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
…… |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
…What’re these numbers? |
|
|
YI SANG |
It may be an indicator… alerting us of squandering two out of five opportunities… |
|
|
DANTE |
<I guess each team can prepare another dish then. How’s that sound?> |
|
|
GREGOR |
Right, now… Let’s assign each of us a role. Not that it’ll make a difference, but… |
|
|
GREGOR |
Say, Hong Lu… Have you ever seen a kitchen before? |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Ahem…! |
|
|
HONG LU |
Well, my room didn’t have any kitchenettes. Though, I did sneak into the grand dining hall on the second floor a few times for snacks when I was a kid. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
AaaaHEM!! |
|
|
GREGOR |
Next up, we have Yi Sang… |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Wasn’t he the only one who came out fine when we drank that spoilt milk the other day? |
|
|
YI SANG |
Mmmmmh… The smell was a sensual one, permeating my pulmonary depths. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
AHKEHMMMMM!!! |
|
|
GREGOR |
Don Quixote, is something wrong with your throat? |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
What say you let me take the mantle? |
|
|
GREGOR |
Don Quixote… This isn’t time for kids’ stuff. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
I am no child! And why am I denied the chef’s place when Sinclair is allowed to do such on the other team! |
|
|
GREGOR |
Hm? |
|
|
OUTIS |
The chicken is chopped too unevenly. You should cut them better. Keep your back straight. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
Right… Okay…! |
|
|
RODION |
Kiddo~ Isn’t this a bit bland? I think it could use a teensy bit more sweetness. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
S-Sweetness? Uhh, let’s see… Where’s the sugar… |
|
|
FAUST |
Based on what Faust is seeing, the heat needs to be pitched up one notch. |
|
|
RYŌSHŪ |
That one’s hopeless. The knife grip is all wrong. |
|
|
ISHMAEL |
Why don’t you all stop being backseat chefs and actually help? |
|
|
GREGOR |
Hmm… I mean, you could definitely trust Sinclair to take on that kind of stuff… His palate should be a good enough judge, too, growing up in a wealthy family ‘n all… |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Now wait a tick, why isn’t anybody giving me any suggestions? Watch, I can cook an egg— |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Bloody hell! Why is the damn fry pan heated? It almost grilled me dead! |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
…This restaurant reeks of mold and other uncleaned stains. It is likely that the kitchen has been left unattended for at least 140 days. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Cooking outside may be more sanitary to the current situation. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
I prithee, give me permission to cook!!! |
|
|
Raw Chicken |
Bwakbwakbawkbawkbawk!!!! |
|
|
DANTE |
<“How dare you mess up our kitchen! You’ll reckon with our wrath for your fowl deed!”> |
|
|
GREGOR |
…… |
|
|
DANTE |
<It just felt like that’s what it was saying…> |
|
|
GREGOR |
…C’mon, keep it together, Gregor. |
3.5-7: Iron Chicken Chef
We only have a few chances remaining, too.
It looks like our only option is to count on the Sinners
who seem like they know their stuff, I hope…?
Pre-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
|
|
DANTE |
<Hm…> |
|
|
DANTE |
<Can anyone tell me what this food is meant to be?> |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
‘Tis quite simple! |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Manager Esquire! Is not chocolate such a delicacy? Thus, we put it in the cooking. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Next, I utilized oranges as a substitute for potatoes, for I much dislike the tuber. |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
What? Who do you think you are to take spuds out like that? You’re a right baffling bird. |
|
|
DANTE |
<Okay, but why is the chicken so brutally torn to bits?> |
|
|
YI SANG |
It was customary in our town to rip chickens into bite-sized pieces using one’s hands. It was a treat to remember. |
|
|
DANTE |
<And what’s this black thing? Why’s a lump of coal in the pan…> |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Complaining an awful lot for a mouthless cuss. Do you even know how to eat this stuff? |
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
…… |
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
Grhkk! |
Post-Battle
| Speaker | Dialogue | |
|---|---|---|
|
|
Eunbong’s Bar & Fryers Owner |
…… |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Nay, what manner of foul trickery is this?! The number has gone down whilst the judge has yet to even touch his dish! |
|
|
DANTE |
<He says it’s not even worth evaluating since what you said of it scared away his appetite…> |
|
|
GREGOR |
That’s a few more syllables than what the owner spoke, isn’t it? |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Right he is! May this rejection be revoked!! |
|
|
DANTE |
<H-Hold it! Let me ask you guys this first!> |
|
|
DANTE |
<Have any of you even tasted this thing?> |
|
|
GREGOR |
…… |
|
|
YI SANG |
…… |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
…… |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
…… |
|
|
DANTE |
<You can’t just feed others things you haven’t tried yourselves, we’re trying to please someone here!> |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Mggrrr… Clockface’s got a point, I have to admit. Who wants to try this? |
|
|
YI SANG |
…I urge you not to look at me with such eyes… |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Permit me! If my sacrifice helpeth to unfurl the wickedness of the world…! |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Bugger all! Someone just get the damn stuff in their jaw! |
 | ||
|
|
MEURSAULT |
…… |
|
|
DANTE |
<Did that kill him on the spot?> |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
I swear upon mine honor that I have done nothing to cause troubles this time. If Sir Vergilius is ever to ask who was responsible… |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
The… |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
The… What? |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
The dressing is erroneous overall; failure to properly cook the chicken has resulted in a residual stench of blood and other unpleasant odors; the sauce is too thick to bring out a deep flavor; the inconsistent cuts of the meat contribute to the serving’s inability to rouse one’s appetite. |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
I… Have you gone loony? That what you have to say? |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Non. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
I have not finished. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
The seasons and spices are a complete disaster, and the taste in my mouth is even worse than plaster. Lacking sugar, you tossed two and a half spoons of butter, and the end result simply belongs right in the gutter. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
I… I am… quite sorry… |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Yi Sang. I must ask if you aim to throng my teeth and prong my tongue by cooking wrong—seeing as this plate’s a headstrong lens to ding-dong notions of what food is to you all along. |
|
|
YI SANG |
…I have not one excuse. |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
One bloody moment, is he… possessed by something or? |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Most people were unable to accept my point when I elaborated on my statements in detail. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Because of that, I have not bothered to expand upon them until now. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Additionally… |
|
|
HONG LU |
I know, why don’t we let Meursault take charge this time! |
|
|
HONG LU |
We’ll help you with everything you need! |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
…I do not prefer to have assistants around. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Fret not! We shan’t disappoint you! |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Hmm… Cooking is not my specialty, but if you so insist, I will readily attempt it. |
|
|
DANTE |
<L—Let’s have a look at Ryōshū’s team, then.> |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
B—But… |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
How in the Wings’ names am I supposed to make food that’s both salty and clean, sweet but not too sugary, and lightly cooked but somehow also crispy! |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
I can’t do this anymore! I guess Ishmael was right, beating Heathcliff at arm wrestling is gonna be easier than this! |
|
|
ISHMAEL |
That—That was a joke… |
|
|
FAUST |
Statistically speaking, it is as likely as Sinclair’s height increasing by five centimeters in just one week; in other words, a nigh impossib— |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
Shut up already! It’s all the same!!! |
|
|
OUTIS |
How weak, you cannot withstand a few criticisms and come whining like the pathetic soldier you are. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
If you’re so darn sure of yourself, Outis… W-Why don’t you do it yourself then? |
|
|
OUTIS |
…You leave me no choice. |
 |
OUTIS |
Out of my way, stragglers. It’s about time someone led this troop. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Behold, Meursault! I have carved this one into the adorable shape of a star… |
 |
MEURSAULT |
Potatoes should be cut into square pieces to that they may be evenly cooked on all sides. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Nevertheless…!! |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
Square shapes. Five centimeters. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
…… |
|
|
GREGOR |
Eh, whatever. A chicken’s a chicken, it can only be so special. |
|
|
GREGOR |
Who knows, that lost recipe of his might’ve been all superficial stuff like “one spoon of earnestness and three scoops of effort”, ‘ne? |
|
|
HONG LU |
Oho~ So this is how you cook potatoes~ |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
What the… Ya thought they harvested baked potatoes out in the fields? |
|
|
HONG LU |
Taking me for a fool, aren’t you…! |
|
|
HONG LU |
Obviously, ripe potatoes fall from their trees when the time is right. |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
…… |
|
|
HONG LU |
Pft, I was just kidding, Heathcliff. |
|
|
HONG LU |
Oh? What are you planning to do with that tenderizer— |
|
|
YI SANG |
A serene flower has blossomed on this yam. Ah, so a bud can indeed bloom even upon this barren ground. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
That is a sign that the potato is poisonous; it must be disposed of immediately. Don Quixote, confiscate it. |
|
|
DON QUIXOTE |
Righty-ho!!! |
|
|
YI SANG |
Ah… Please do not do such… |
|
|
YI SANG |
Burnt things are significant in their own ways. In truth, the state of being “burnt” may as well be an imaginary concept defined by man when the essence of an object has remained unchanged. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
“Burnt” refers to the condition in which a food item is discolored beyond a certain degree and produces an acrid smell after prolonged exposure to high heat. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
And this one has burnt to its core. It is only right to discard it as long-term consumption of burnt food can negatively impact the body. |
|
|
YI SANG |
How regrettable… |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Don’t gab at me. It’ll ruin my focus. |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
Knives are a luxury A real pauper can peel any spud with nothing more than a metal spoon. |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
…… |
|
|
MEURSAULT |
This gets a pass. You are rewarded extra points for the expertise displayed in your aslant strokes. |
|
|
HEATHCLIFF |
That’s class!!!! |
|
|
OUTIS |
Watch closely. You need to employ a wide variety of ingredients. Being a picky eater is what’s stunted your growth. |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
I… I can still get taller from here…! |
|
|
SINCLAIR |
…I think. |
|
|
OUTIS |
Also, an unbalanced diet is the reason why your hair’s turned all grey. |
|
|
FAUST |
Faust has… always had… |
|
|
OUTIS |
Your hands in particular have become coarse and rough for the same reason. |
|
|
ISHMAEL |
Excuse me? This is because of all the work I did aboard the ship! |
|
|
RODION |
Me next, Outis! What about me? What’s the diagnosis? |
|
|
OUTIS |
Don’t yell frivolously like that! You’re being a distraction! |